“Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”
Richard Bach
The idea of soul mates raises questions. Can you have more than one soul mate in more than one context? How do you identify a soul mate? Could he or she be the one who got away and still tugs at you heartstrings in lonely moments? The one who, when they left, took a bit of your heart with them? Or is it the one you’re with now? And for the love of God, is it Is it soul mate or soulmate?
Types of Soul Mates
“I used to believe in one true soul mate, but not anymore. I believe you can have a few.”
Paul Walker
The Romantic Soul Mate
“He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began.”
Leo Tolstoy
If you’re a sucker for love stories, romantic soul mate connections make your juices flow. This is the one you make love with. Lots of it. With eye contact. For these soul mates, sex isn’t just about orgasm, it’s about connection. And they snuggle afterward.
The Platonic Soul Mate
“Soulmate’” is an overused term, but a true soul connection is very rare and very real.”
Hilary Duff
Not as sexy but still rewarding. A platonic soul mate could be a friend, a co-worker, or an acquaintance you meet on a plane and never see again. The defining element is that the impression they make stays with you. You feel a unique kinship.
Having said that, perhaps you can have more than one soulmate…
The Mentor Soul Mate
“A soulmate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul, to do the emotional work of self-discovery, of awakening.”
Kenny Loggins
A mentor may instruct and inspire. A mentor soul mate does all that while connecting on a deeper level. What comes out of their mouth makes you feel like they get you. And what you say back makes them feel like they get you. The give-and-take is mutual because soul mating is a two-way street.
The Familial Soul Mate
“What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined to strengthen each other, to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.”
George Eliot
This one makes Thanksgiving Dinner much more bearable. A brother or sister with whom you can communicate in complete sentences with nuance in a simple glance may just be your familial soul mate. Same goes for parents. They inspire and challenge you out of love, not fear or judgement. It goes deeper than DNA. They go with you when you go your separate ways.
The Soul Mate Deniers
“There is no such thing as a soulmate…and who would want there to be? I don’t want half of a shared soul. I want my own damn soul.” Rachel Cohn
Rachel Cohn
In his Psychology Today article Here’s Why You Should Stop Searching for Your Soul Mate, author and professor at Indiana University School of Medicine Bill Sullivan, Ph.D. uses math to disprove the notion that there is a soul mate out there for everyone. Now, I hate math, so I’ll leave it to you to click on the link to find out more.
Rachel and Bill may have a point. But to many, a soulmate-less existence sounds pretty soulless.
What do you think?